Learn how to stop not being satisfied with your success.
Firstly, before I get into it… it is possible to own that shit and truly believe you’re f*king successful.
But back to how to stop not being satisfied with your success. Are you a business owner who’s also an overachiever?
By overachiever, I mean someone who keeps on achieving, hitting goals and always strives for more.
Which means you don’t stop achieving. Yet as much as you succeed, you never feel better or sit still to acknowledge your achievements.
If this sounds like you, then read on below.
Overachieving comes from a few places.
One that may shock you is the cause of your overachieving is your brain.
Your thoughts are the language of your brain, which means you can learn how to use your mindset to change your beliefs about anything.
It’s possible to change your beliefs about success, fulfilment, and what failure is.
And what these three things mean to you. Because everyone will have their own version of success, fulfilment and what failure means.
Here’s how my teenage brain interpreted these feelings.
When I was in year eight at school and 13 years old in English class, my teacher gave me the assignment to write a poem. I didn’t think much about it, but I couldn’t wait for this homework assignment. Creative writing was my jam. Sure beat memorising the periodic table.
My poem was brilliant, and I used that extraordinary creative brain I have.
It was 1999 in Melbourne, and at the time, in the newspaper, heroin usage was a big issue. And every day, they would report the deaths of the road toll deaths and heroin deaths. And for some reason, I checked them and read the paper every day.
I guess, because it was on the news, and they were talking about it a lot I felt the need to keep updated on the stats.
Anyhoo, since this was a present issue, I made up a poem about a friend who became addicted to heroin and died.
And my English teacher was blown away.
She then asked me if she could enter it into a poetry competition.
“Yeah, cool, whatever,” I said to her and never thought about it again.
Until she came to me and said that I’d won this competition out of around 780 entrants. She told the principal, and then I got a second award in front of the whole school.
Part of the prize from the competition was a jag watch, and I felt like a million dollars.
I remember going home, telling my mum, and she was impressed with me, and as a young teenager, this felt wonderful. Yes, I thought. She is proud. But she also said, “it’s great, but anyone can write.”
So here is what my 13-year-old brain did.
I had thoughts about these words said to me, and I made it mean something about me.
I made it mean that winning that competition wasn’t successful because anyone can do that.
And then further thoughts about, “I’m not smart enough,” “I’m not that smart,” “there is nothing special about my brain”, So I’m not good enough.
And so on… and so on…
Here is where the cause of overachieving starts. It’s all created in your brain.
The above story is one example from me, but I have many more.
Which means my brain keeps proving these thoughts (I’m not good enough) to be accurate. And then the thoughts filter through your life without conscious realisation.
The Language of Your Brian
When your thoughts are the language of our brain, here’s what goes on in your mind.
We have an event or something that happens in our lives, and we attach meaning to them—whereas, at the time of this poem winning, I could have had any thought or thoughts I wanted.
- This is amazing
- I’m so proud of myself
- Such an achievement
- I’m good at this creative writing thing
And my brain would have wired at that moment, in this way. And believes these thoughts.
Instead, what it did was “I’m not good enough.” Or maybe I’m not worthy. I’m not smart enough. My brain took it like that and then believed these sentences to be true.
Then if something else similar happens where I get the opportunity to make this event mean the same sentences, then my brain will continue to prove them true.
This is where you start a long cycle of the same thoughts.
So why overachievers? We’re believing sentences like, “I’m not good enough” So no matter what we do, achieve or succeed at we will always believe it (we) isn’t (aren’t) good enough.
Which then leads up to doing things like trying to prove to ourselves we are good enough.
How do we do this?
We think we need to do more, achieve more so we are smart enough and successful enough.
Chasing achievements because we believe people will see our success so we can then validate ourselves and believe we are good enough.
That’s how it works in our brains.
What’s critical to understand about the way our minds work with the cause of overachieving is to question yourself and how you’re thinking about yourself.
And then ask yourself, is this true?
When I say the truth, I’m talking about a fact. An actual event that happened and can be proven true if you were in front of a judge in a courtroom.
These are things that happen outside of us and are usually out of our control.
Why should you understand if something is true?
Because these facts don’t mean anything and cannot make us feel anything.
They don’t hurt us.
There’s winning a poetry competition with 780 entrants. And there’s “winning that isn’t special because anyone can write”
Do you see the difference?
If you’ve related to the above and the above thinking then please get in touch with me.
I was you, I never acknowledged my success. I never stopped to realise I’m awesome and I’ve achieved so much because I was too busy looking for the next thing to make me feel good enough.
It is possible to believe you’re successful no matter what you’ve achieved in your life.
And you are capable of feeling proud, achieved and better than you do about it all.
I can teach you how.
Book your FREE mini-coaching session here.
If you don’t know me…
I’m a life coach, business mindset coach and copywriter coach
I help successful (and overachieving) female business owners stop pretending to be someone they’re not. And help them get unstuck by uncovering the problem so they create a business and life they love.
Want to do this too?
And by ‘this, I mean taking action and not sitting around wishing for your plans, goals, and dreams to come true.
Are you a coach as well?
I also help coaches overcome their beliefs they can’t write copy and learn how to do it.
So they can easily create copy that connects, stop wasting time and focus on coaching.
If you need help with any of the above, please reach out to me.
Book your FREE mini-coaching session here.